When control in a marriage is one-sided, the marriage has seen better days. Over-control occurs when one partner excessively influences the decision making processes or makes decisions without consulting the other partner. Partners do not enjoy being over-controlled by another party. Partners need to treat each other with respect and should individually be treated with respect. They need to feel trusted and not controlled. The feeling of being controlled creates resentment. The feeling of control can create a set of mental chains on the victim. This control can turn love to hate and become a mental monster. It is a marriage destroyer. You may demand that your partner do something. You may think that you have had a win when they do it, but you may also have created great resentment. This can build to create hostility.
The controlling partner may use various tactics to make the other partner act in a desired manner. Punishments may be invented which are not of a physical nature. Typical punishments include: emotional, mental, financial, or sexual. The last one is common. “She banned sex two years ago.” Or: “I’m tired from working all day” or “I have to work tomorrow”.
The person that feels controlled becomes overwhelmed with resentment leading to unhappiness. Fear and misery may occur. To change this power structure in a relationship may be difficult, particularly if has existed for a significant time. A successful marriage requires a balance of responsibility and control or the love will wither to be replaced with hate.
The female often tends to rise to the top of the household as she tends to be far more organized than the male. It is my belief that our ancestors recognized this and made the man the head of the family. In Greece, they have a saying along the lines: “The man is the head of the family, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.” In a family run hostel in Marrakesh last year, the owners, after a few days asked me a few business-type questions. In the conversation, I said, with animation: “When you men walk down the street, I see you walking tall and proud. The women in the street cover up and walk quietly with their heads low. But in the house, the women are wagging their fingers at you and getting you organized.” The male said to me with a grin: “In the street, we are like lions, but in the house, we are like rabbits.” Back in Australia, I sometimes joke: The wife says quietly: “It would be nice to go to Paris for a holiday.” and the man checks the bank balance, decides to do an extra shift at work, and says in a commanding voice: “We are going to Paris for a holiday.” The woman tends to get her way either way. True leadership always benefits all. In times gone by, the male was used to chasing pigs around a forest. It is going to be problematic when a woman starts to micromanage him. A man walks into a room with his wife and she says to him: “Sit down there. You make the place look untidy!”
One interesting quip from the apostle Paul: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” [Ephesian 5:28] The man got down on his knee and asked her to marry him. The female should be aware of the power she holds over the male and there is concern that she abuse that influence. At my mother’s eightieth birthday party, a wayward uncle blurted: “... When they start banning sex...” It was the only part of the conversation that I remember. It was the first time that I had heard someone talk about females banning sex. I ask males that have had problems: “How long ago did she ban sex?” The replies tell me that this is common. Most men seem to hide the problem by thinking: “Well. She has had three children. Don’t worry about it.” The male tolerates the situation. The male tolerates the situation but it is also considered to be a punishment. An old lady said to me: “All you men think about is the ‘s’ word.” She had demonized her husband to the extent that he thought he was a bad man for suggesting the topic of sex. By keeping the sex word as a ‘naughty’ word, males can be led to think that their requests for sex are inappropriate. Society (probably females) made sex a taboo subject so that male advances could be controlled. In the animal kingdom, sex is an entirely natural act. It was cleverly demonized in the human kingdom to allow women to control a man’s lust. That is why the old lady used the expression ‘s word’ rather than the word ‘sex’. She demonstrates that even the word sex is to be avoided. Thus, she can control his advances. I sometimes joke in appropriate company: “The whole world is doing it but nobody is allowed to talk about it.” Even there, I used the word ‘it’ rather than the word sex. If the woman demonizes the topic, the man is stuck. It is not that the desire for sex that is the problem it is that he even said the word. Sex becomes so demonized within the relationship to the extent that even mentioning the subject gives the woman a tantrum. Our language is full of euphemisms for sex. “Give the dog a bone” can be heard in a Sex Pistol’s song. Shakespeare talked of “candles for the nunnery”. If a word falls out of favour, a new one is invented. “Bonking” comes to mind.
The Church refers to sex within marriage as: “Conjugal Duty.” Urban Dictionary puts it well when it says:
“The conjugal duty is a religious duty within marriage to have sex on a regular basis. Rather than a chore, sex within marriage therefore becomes a religious obligation that very much pleases God. The concept is biblical and is promoted by many Christian churches.”
Even Martin Luther [1483 to 1546] wrote on the subject of women banning sex which can also be called ‘depriving of conjugal relations’:
“...the husband should admonish and warn his wife two or three times, and let the situation be known to others so that her stubbornness becomes a matter of common knowledge and is rebuked before the congregation. If she still refuses, get rid of her;”
We must suppose that the same might apply if the husband deprived his wife. Martin Luther recommended a particularly harsh response from the government:
“When one resists the other and refuses the conjugal duty she is robbing the other of the body she had bestowed upon him. This is really contrary to marriage, and dissolves the marriage. For this reason, the civil government must compel the wife, or put her to death. If the government fails to act, the husband must reason that his wife has been stolen away and slain by robbers; he must seek another. We would certainly have to accept it if someone’s life were taken from him. Why then should we not also accept it if a wife steals herself away from her husband, or is stolen away by others?”
He also calls it “conjugal duty’.
“This is the case where husband and wife cannot get along together for some reason other than the matter of the conjugal duty.”
In Australia, the legal action for restitution of conjugal rights was abolished by the Family Law Act of 1975. Since 1975 courts no longer have the power to make a ‘decree of restitution of conjugal rights’ to enforce marital duties. A web-search of ‘restitution of conjugal rights’ makes interesting reading. Generally, the law is not of much help when one party refuses sex.
Marriage is best when both partners are playing together on the same team. Sex is a natural part of all life. Even the trees outside are having sex. The animals are all having sex as part of their life-cycle. They don’t even discuss the matter — they just get on with it. Although, there may be some violence over the right to ‘bonk’. Humans have limited the discussion about sex. This has been used to control the behaviour of males for the benefit of women. Over control is also a problem. If sex is banned for prolonged periods, don’t be surprised when he gives in to some girl that twinkles her eyes at him. Don’t forget that women control access to sex. It was another woman that gave him access instead of you. When he married you, it was not in his mind that he would go elsewhere for sex. But he was also not aware that you might ban sex. The banning of sex has the potential to destroy the man’s human spirit. Women hold the power with regard to sex. Which adds another layer of illogic to the mythical evil of patriarchy. If males oppressed women, it would be the male that entirely decided when sex would occur.
There is a common saying: “Behind every strong man, there is a strong woman.” This suggests that a male cannot reach fulfillment without the support of a good woman. If the man is not showing some leadership, it may be the female that is holding him back. She maybe undermining him. She maybe purposely doing the opposite of what he suggests. A woman’s determination to have it ‘her way’ will not be good for a marriage. Marriage works best when each partner works together. Dawnielle puts it this way:
“A great reminder to lift our husbands up, build them up and not tear them down or nag.”
Stephanie throws in her two bob:
“This past week I have learned that my attitude at home and towards him is a HUGE influence on his performance at work. I know that is one thing I can start working on is by having a positive, good attitude at home before he leaves and when he comes home.”
On a Christian website, Tiffany comments:
“Since starting this study, it has really hit home just how much we wives can either bring our husbands up or down. I pray that I am always being the wife God planned for me to be and the mother he has planned for me to be also.”
Author Rick Johnson says that women often do not realize the power they have when it comes to the men in their lives.
“I don’t think a lot of women recognize it, but they have this power just by their words sometimes, or sometimes even a look, that they can literally destroy their husbands or they can lift them up to do things that they would never do on their own without her encouragement and support.” [4]
Males need respect. They have been brought up in a system where their actions were always given external reinforcement after the event. Their mothers would commonly say: “Well done.” “You were great.” or “Never mind. Better tomorrow.” This is one of the methods that mothers from ancient times trained males to be controlled by females. Do not ascribe to the modern stupidity that this is ridiculous. It has a reason. If we enter an era where males do not rely on the comments from females, then females will suffer. We are entering an era where males are ignoring the comments and wishes of females. Lack of reinforcement of males by females will cause some huge problems for females in the future. Dare I go as far as saying that: “Males were born to live as a support team for women.” The ‘Secret’, was the method girls were taught to ‘bring their man to heel’, to use a dog training term.
Lack of respect is a big deal for a male. To connect with a male you will need to show him respect. To a male, respect is akin to love. If the male detects that you respect him, he considers that you love him. He will crawl through a field of broken glass to receive this respect from his beloved female. If he detects that you respect him, he interprets this as love.
Even the Bible has words on this topic:
Apostle Paul: “And the wife must respect her husband.” [Ephesians 5:33]
If you marry someone who you respect, then their concept of how things should be should be of equal merit as yours and vice versa. Your attempts to control or change your partner may damage your marriage relationship. For your marriage to remain strong, you may need to change yourself. Marriage is not a control exercise. So when he wanders off with his secretary, he is an asshole. But why did he wander off? The woman, by the way, was female and knew your man was married. So a woman led him astray. For how long had you banned sex? How often did you undermine him? How often did you ignore his views? He is not allowed by law to hit you, but he may well have done so had he not been restrained by law and his mother’s training. The justice system is hard on physical abuse and soft on psychological abuse. Some men are learning the ways of psychological abuse. Women indicate that emotional abuse effects them as much, if not more than, physical violence. Males are learning the tactics that were traditionally used by females to control males.
You must create healthy ways to communicate. I remember my days in flat land. A new person would join the house. They might want the mugs in the cupboard upside down so that dirt didn’t fall into them. So, for six months, we would have the mugs upside-down. Then someone new would arrive. They believed that the mugs should be upright so that the rim did not get dirty on the shelf. So we would have the mugs upright for six months. I always treated it as a joke. What difference did it make? If it shuts someone up, I’ll put the mugs this way or that way. Hate could build up over the orientation of mugs on a shelf. I was tolerant of their intolerance. What happens when one is intolerant of intolerance? There is no way I am going to have an argument over the orientation of mugs on a shelf. Full stop. But what if you are goaded into an argument on such trivialities?
Control is one of the most difficult aspects of a relationship facing couples.
“You forgot using sex and intimacy as a form of coercion by doling it out like a dog treat for good/approved behavior. Interestingly, men using coercion to have sex is domestic violence according to the Southern Poverty Law Center. But women can coerce USING sex and all is well - it’s just an accepted part of culture.” [1]
“I know a few of these couples and yes, I consider the men weak and the women overbearing.” [1]
Man needs certainty and uncertainty in his life. Getting lost, to a man, is exciting. It is a challenge. Getting lost to a girl is scary. Getting lost to a man is also scary, but scary in the right dose to keep his emotions fired up. When we were hunter-gatherers, the man was wandering through forests chasing wild pigs. He had to go into areas he had not previously visited. A mild emotion called fear helped in this situation. His reptile brain would give him an exuberation when he trapped a boar. Males experienced a kaleidoscope of emotions through a day. He was sharing these experiences only with himself, so he expressed no external emotion, just internal emotion. The man may curse and swear when he gets lost, but he will get over it quite quickly, without external input, and correct the situation. This is what he did in the forests. Man cannot be kept in a mental cage. If he loves you, he will come back. Give him something to love. As one sweet girl snapped at me: “Andy. You have to give him something to respect.” Which I interpret at the girl acting in a manner such that he respects her. Which is an essential component of maintaining his love for you. By making yourself a precious part of his life, he will feel the responsibility to care for you that is currently being denied by the ‘I will not be controlled crowd’. Man needs certainty and uncertainty. If there is too much certainty he will become bored. If he has too much certainty he will become anxious. It is helpful to be certain that his wife will be there when he comes home. But the man is going to become bored and depressed if there is certainty to all activities. The woman may plan a family-day weeks in advance. The man will plan spontaneously: “Let us go for a picnic at the top of the hill. We are going now. All right!” The man is adventurous and spontaneous. Enjoy the spontaneity of the man. Enjoy his adventurous spirit. Do not say: “You should have told me weeks ago.” or “I need three hours to do my hair.” For stuff’s sake, who is going to see your hair on the top of a mountain. He will see that for what it is — illogical logic. He has an adventurous spirit. Do not stifle it, enjoy it. In the spirit of the times, illogic will start to override logic.
Your life is going to be more fun if you encourage his adventurous nature and his spontaneity. Otherwise, he is going to become intolerant of your intolerance.
The management of control in your relationship is a crucial challenge. You may think you are winning by exercising control but you may send him quiet or you may elicit “Yes Dear” from him. That is not a win. That is a loss. You lost the control issue as it was not accepted — it was tolerated. You may be turning his love into hate — and you may not even notice. If he goes quiet, walks out of the room or says: “Yes Dear”, you lost. As a woman, you have the ability to beat him into submission. He has been trained not to hit girls and has also been trained not to answer back. This is the only way you can live with a male. However, if you push your luck too far, something will break. He will snap. You cannot take advantage of this situation without destroying his training. If you once take advantage of his decency, the decency will likely end. If you yell: “I want”, you will probably get your way, but soon he will reply: “But I want”. You lose. If some young office girl twinkles her eyes at him, he may be led astray with the logic that he has had enough of your “I want” demands. He cannot hit you because his mother trained him ‘not to hit girls’ and he also knows that he will get tied to the whipping post or the modern equivalent. If you take advantage of his gentlemanly ways, you will create a strain in the relationship that may explode in some way. His gentlemanly ways will end. He may shut down or look elsewhere. There is a whole army of females in the suburbs desperate for male attention. Your ability to keep pushing the point may exceed his ability to tolerate the situation. If one partner insists on getting their way or the other gives in all the time, there is going to be a problem in the near future.
Here is a quote from Yvette Maher, an enlightened pastor at New Life Church who had tried to be a controller.
“I’ve come to realize, through my own experience as well as in conversation with friends, that marriage works best when my husband and I labor in tandem. When I push for control in my marriage, however, I miss the opportunity to communicate — and communication helps us work together as a couple.” [2]
Yvette could not puzzle out why her husband was not stepping into his leadership role in the family. She confessed that she likes everything the way she likes it and that she enjoyed control. She managed the management of the house just fine but it was destroying the relationship. She said:
“The desire for control actually squelched our communication, robbed me of the privilege to pray for my husband and deprived our relationship of grace.” [2]
The push for control had destroyed the communication. She was not creating ‘one flesh’, as it is called in the Bible. She was creating a relationship of domination. The male has the ability to counteract this in the community at large and in the workplace but his ability to correct it in the relationship was removed by his mother and further conditioning for the benefit of the future wife and society in general. It is important that the woman does not take advantage of this.
Each person in the relationship enjoys the respect of the other partner. They will make effort to gain and maintain that respect. The act of pleasing their partner makes them an easy target for this control. It is easier for the controlled spouse to say “Yes”, than to create an argument and so the situation gets worse. But it is of no benefit to the controller as resentment will build up in the controlled partner. If you see an old couple in the shopping centre still holding hands, when they talk to each other, they say “What would you like, dear?” and the reply is “Whatever you like, dear.” The couple create a result that is greater than that created by the sum of two individuals. They both get a happy resolution. Each partner is happy to have their say and each is happy that the other is happy. Happiness comes from the happiness of the other. “I’m happy that you’re happy that I’m happy!”
A cooperative partnership benefits both partners better than the individual partners can benefit themselves as individuals. Unfortunately, in an age of ‘what’s in it for me?’, it is difficult to create true caring partnerships. We now hear males joking to each other about women folk saying: “What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.” whilst the individuals hide cash from each other. The common slang is ‘gold-diggers’. In the divorce proceedings, the lawyer says to his mail client: “Do you realize that your wife has a million dollars hidden in a bank account?”
An additional element in recent years is the attitude that women have been victims and males have been oppressors in a master-slave relationship. This has brought a suspicion by the females that males will control them if they don’t push for control themselves. The reality is that the relationship will not be healthy if the males have control nor will it be healthy if the woman is in control. The logic did not consider that man tends to be more comfortable with simple logic and women are masters of emotion. If you watch teen girls watch those dreadful Hollywood and New York low budget series that contain non-stop idle chit-chat of no significant content, you can see the girls watching the interplay between the players whilst the males just exclaim: “That’s a load of rubbish.” The analysis is different. The male cuts through to the rights and wrongs and the women watch the interplay. So many of the scenes have the women talking down to the males in a manner that real males in real life do not tolerate. These players usually manipulate situations to their benefit without considering the needs of the other person. These programs allow individual ‘rights’ and ‘wants’ to override the needs of others and the community at large. It is along the lines of: “I want to play the music loud and you can go get stuffed.” This goes against the cooperative nature of community relationships. The individuals only want what is good for themselves. Selfishness becomes normalized. Christianity in particular works to prevent this self-interest. But Christianity is being overridden by Hollywood.
The relationship already has one significant bias because women hold all the power over sex. They control the activity that drives men. A girl at the next table said: “All they want to do is fuck you.” But she did not say something I once said to a thirty-year-old female friend: “You wouldn’t go out with a man if he did not want to get into your knickers at some stage.” What was clever was that women used male’s desire to direct male physical effort to work for them. It was along the lines of: “Go to work. Bring me lots of money each week for the rest of your life and I’ll agree to marry you. Then You can have sex with me. And, by the way, I decide when sex occurs!” The man has superiority in physical strength, but this was curtailed by strong training in his youth and a rigid legal system. This is why they say to marry a man with a good breeding or upbringing. He has been trained to be gentlemanly which means he defers to women and never strikes a woman. If the man follows this, the woman has the stronger position in the relationship. The man will shape his attitude towards his partner depending on how she wields this power.
DangZagnut talks about power balance:
“I travel, what I observed filling up two passports and working on my third over the years that people are the same everywhere, and no matter what country or culture, the women are always yelling, nagging, complaining, or who knows what. No matter where you go, some woman is screaming at some guy.”
A contradiction:
“Women in some countries are certainly more tolerable than in others.”
According to the Self-Determination Theory, to fulfil our basic human motivation we need to have autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Autonomy involves freedom from external control or influence. It allows us a certain independence and a feeling that we control our own environment. Competence allows us to feel that we are a capable and valued member of the family. Relatedness gives us the feeling of connectivity with others. If any of these items are removed from a partner, problems will arrive. Just as good management of a factory requires that members feel needed, connected and that their opinion is valued, the same is required in a family. When one partner is overbearing, these characteristics can vanish. Those scientists in white coats claim that we have a set of physiological needs including food, water, and sex. Notice that they included sex on the list. More of these scientists claim we have psychological needs which are the three already mentioned: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Relatedness can be thought of as the amount of closeness that partners provide. Close relationships are a necessary part of a quality lifestyle. Failure in these areas will damage relationship well-being.
In the marriage relationship, it is highly feasible that the woman can have the controlling influence. She has a far better understanding of the mechanisms involved in a relationship. By playing a roller-coaster of emotions, she can have total influence over her husband. In the past, the woman was in a privileged position. She was not required or expected to be a breadwinner. She could manipulate the male to control him. Society’s norms also dictated that he act in a certain way towards her. The male is trained by his mother to put all his actions towards the assistance of the female. He was effectively trained to follow the wishes of women in much the same way as one trains a dog. I sometimes explain it this way. When we first started creating communities, it was the women that got together first. Males were allowed in provided they behaved, which meant that they did their night-time duties with whoever requested them. This is not unlike the girls that go to nightclubs and look around to decide who they will bed that night. They soon learned that they could use the compliant males to police the arrangement and violently punish anyone that offended against the order. It was also possible to harness the energy of the male to operate the society under the reward of regular nooky. The women could control by manipulating the males and using males to uphold the order.
I give you a few random comments:
The reality is that men wish to add to your happiness. They simply do not know how to do this. It is thus necessary that you train him how to make you happy.
Some of the comments come straight from dog training manuals. They fit quite well. However, the modern enlightened male has spotted the fallacies of feminism and has learned the same tricks. And now I give you some comments on tactics. You need to do many nights of research on the topic: “how women train men”, “how to train your man to treat you right”, “how to train your boyfriend like a dog”, “how to train your boyfriend to be romantic”. (Romantic means grovelling to a woman!) I give you a few comments to get you warmed up on the subject. It is crucial for your future and the future of your relationship. As a male (Paul) said to me last night: “We don’t mind working all our lives for the betterment of a wife and family, it’s just that marriage is an extremely bad deal for males at present.” In his conversation, he was effectively telling me that men would ‘play the game’ and accept the subservience to a female if they weren’t disrespected and treated so dreadfully in the judicial system.
So, I started the chapter by saying that neither should control the other in the relationship, but — but — but. This is the ‘Secret’ — ‘Woman’s Secret’ — a forgotten art that is being forgotten in the hubris of cultural destruction. It is the secret on how they control a man and men without them realizing that they are controlled. Women didn’t take on ‘jobs’ because it was beneath them. They got men to do the dirty work. Women didn’t run society unless they accidentally became queen or became destitute because they got men to do it and men organized the operation of society for the benefit of women. Men enjoyed the challenge of doing it all for women. Women were controlling men not by giving orders or instructions but by autosuggestion. “Oh! You are so good to me. You do everything for me. I am so lucky to have you look after me.” And more: “You decide dear. You always see to think of the best way of looking after me.” Women do not control men by direct control but by letting men control for the benefit of women. It is exceedingly smart. It has given me great respect for the women of past generations. Patriarchy was men as the head of the household condescending to the desires of the woman. Even the falsified definition of patriarchy as males dominating the operation of society and workplaces involved males running the enterprise for the benefit of females. I find it amusing when I am out and about, that a male explains to girls the woman’s ‘secret’ and how this control over males has worked for centuries. Patriarchy was not the suppression of women, it was the suppression of men.
The first important item is that he should never find out that you are training him. You must hide your training program behind smoke and mirrors. If he detects what you are up to, you will need to go into damage control and play the emotional rollercoaster to obtain forgiveness to protect the relationship.
What better punishment is there for a man than withholding sex? Luckily society strangely gave you the right to do so and the concept of conjugal rights for man has slipped away. (Conjugal rights gave the man the right to demand sex in a marriage. This right of a male has eroded. However, it is not necessarily the case that this is to the benefit of women. Marriage without sex! Who would ever think that might occur?) You have the power to withhold sex. If you do it for too long, a fuse will blow and he will seek attention elsewhere or other more violent remedies. Even if he gets put in jail for his violence, you have still suffered the violence. Although you have the power to withhold sex, you do not have the power to stop other self-interested women from denying sex. The sexual revolution gave males the opportunity to get sex from any interested woman. Previously, men could not get sex anywhere else because no female would give it to him. So do not play the sex-ban card too hard. Banning access will condition him to never repeat the same mistake twice. In future, even the implied threat of withholding sex will bring him into line rapidly. As time progresses, he will even associate a frown on your part to mean that you are displeased and that he runs the risk of a ban on sex. In the long run, just the words: “tut tut” spoken very quietly in public will stop him talking for fear of embarrassing himself or even worse, offending you. Just watch how your grandmother controls your grandfather. The words “tut tut” are enough to bring him to heel. You can see some women just tap the table lightly to bring her man to heel. He immediately shuts up when given the signal.
You also need to use rewards. When he builds the pergola for you, he gets many praises, cuddles, and a night of great sex. The night of great sex is the privilege of working on you for a few hours taking you through a couple of long drawn out ecstasies and he can be finished off quickly at the end. You must thoroughly complement him on his ability in bed. So that he does this every time you give him the trigger. Thus sex has to be earned and the sex act is him pleasuring you. Forget pleasuring him. His enjoyment is seeing you enjoy yourself. You never give sex away for free. He will be ignorant of what pleases you in bed so it is very necessary to exaggerate your reaction to his actions. Hold his arm or touch him or move your body or lips of make adjustable purring noises of some kind so he has immediate feedback to your state of excitement. Always make out that sex is naughty and he is a naughty person for weakening your barriers and leading you astray. So he is praised and criticized at the same time in a manner that he is unable to interpret.
Minor rewards can be handed out frequently. These include hugs, gentle touches when passing, light kisses on the neck, and verbal sweet nothings. Never use logical communication. He is a master of logic and you run the risk of him outclassing you on reason. Only ever use emotional contacts which includes smiles, touches, hugs, and any other trick that you can muster. As a rule, you never walk past him without touching him. Touch is powerful and it dates back to the time we were reptiles.
Often forgotten is that he cannot make your dreams become reality if he is unaware of what they are. So it is essential that you whisper them in his ear. So there is a timing issue here. It is not communicated over the table with a logical conversation but in sweet nothing talk. It is not an: “I want ultimatum” that will run the risk of being rejected, it is a sensitive communication done in a manner that only a woman can manage. It could be done sideways: “What is Bali like as a place to visit?” Mr. Commonsense comes back the next day with all the answers including the expected costs and whether it can be afforded. Only a woman’s intuition can work out the best way of salting these ideas. Thus you must ensure that he knows what your dreams are so that he can work towards fulfilling them.
On the subject of banning sex for a while, one woman advised: “if you are feeling a little deprived and think you can’t hold out any longer, go invest in a pocket rocket.” The woman buys a vibrator. She is admitting that women want sex regularly, but controlling the man is more important than her sexual appetite. You will not control him with man’s tactics. Men use logic, loyalty, and reason to organize and control. Allow him to use logic and reason and encourage him to do so. It is to your benefit. He will even think that he is in control in the relationship. Women use intuition subtly to control men. Do not clash with his logic or reason, go along with it. He is trying to please his master. If you clash on logic, he will win. Logic and reason are his strong points. A clash on logic will cause an argument and may lead to violence. Use his logic and reason to your benefit. He will reason in matters to your benefit. You are better to say: “Thank you so much. You always work things out the best way for me. I am so lucky. You are such a good man.” and give him a hug and a light kiss on the neck. The component: “You are such a good man.” was a clever invention by your female predecessors. The concept of ‘being a good man’ is defined in terms of what is good for women. Manliness is not defined in terms of what is good for men but in terms of what is good for women. This is very very clever. Help it along with: “What would I do without you?”
Getting the male to be romantic is a tactic that involves him grovelling to the wants of a woman. When a woman says: ‘He is so romantic”, she means ‘He grovels for me.” Here are some snippets of advice on how to make your man romantic. (Make your man into a willing slave.)
This is not entirely his fault. Partly, it may not exist in his DNA and partly because emotional response and recognition of emotion were knocked out of him in his upbringing. Mothers say:
“You’re not scared of the dark are you?”
And:
“Boys don’t cry!”
And
“You’re not scared of the Boogieman, are you?”
Sir John Glubb writes in 1977, referring to education during the ‘British Empire’ days:
“Boys’ schools are intentionally rough. Frugal eating, hard living, breaking the ice to have a bath and similar customs are aimed at producing a strong, hardy and fearless breed of men. Duty is the word constantly drummed into the heads of young people.”
The softening up of British males may have been caused by external influences to destroy the British Empire, so that it could be replaced by another empire. I remember a Rabbi talking to me in the lobby of a New York hotel: “If you want to know what is happening in the world, watch what comes out of Jerusalem.”
He was suggesting that it would be the Israeli leadership that would dictate the politics of the world. Under such a scenario, you might expect all USA politicians to be subservient to Israel. You might thus expect to find a picture of all USA Senate politicians standing and applauding an Israeli President. Here it is:
Interestingly, The United States Congress is about to pass an unconstitutional law making any participation in BDS a boycott of Israel a felony with up to twenty years in prison. The Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) movement works to end international support for Israel’s oppression of Palestinians and to force Israel to comply with international law. AIPAC (The American Israel Public Affairs Committee) wrote the law. It will be interesting to see if Trump will sign it. BDS upholds the principle that Palestinians are entitled to the same rights as the rest of humanity. Somebody writing as Patriot writes:
“Zionist Israel and the Zionist dual citizens in the U.S. government are the driving force for a Zionist NWO and it is being paid for by the blood of the America soldier as always and in the end Zionists will be the death of America.”
Somebody’s meme:
The male quite likely does not notice emotional cues and does not give emotional cues. You may have to extract his feelings by other means or watch for subtle clues. You may have to magnify your emotional signals so that they are more easily interpreted. As a male, I have to make sure that I go and do something interesting and fun before I meet people so that I give off the right emotional signals. I may not be able to detect the signals but others will.
In a romance novel, a strong hero works his heroics, to arrive at a scene in the book which is known as ‘the grovel scene’ where the domineering hero has to work to be forgiven by the female for some supposed misdemeanour. He has to redeem himself to the female where the grovel is the payoff. He may even have to get on his knees for forgiveness. It is all part of the control procedure. The misdemeanour may even be that he was in love with her and had not told her so. She wants him on his knees begging. (...like all good slaves before their masters.) He has to apologize for the way he had treated her. She is expecting a ‘good grovel’. The romantic novel reader expects a dramatic ‘grovel scene’ where the hero grovels to the maiden. An apology is inadequate. The heroine should not forgive the hero too easily. In real-life, the girl will use the line: “You lied to me!” or “You deceived me.” to great effect. Even though she wore makeup to hide issues, a fake bra to enhance her bosom and high heels to accentuate her height. The hero is taken down a notch or two. The Alpha is reduced to a Beta. He becomes weaker before the heroine. The grovel scene displays him promising to make changes to his attitude and behavior toward the female. The grovel should not strip him of his dignity. The ‘sin’ may be that he looked at another girl or he did not pay her enough attention or did not say that he would be late for dinner. (Even though he was doing extra work for extra money for the family, he is still in trouble for being late.) The girls who read romantic novels enjoy seeing men grovel. Their preferred novels have a strong man grovel, or even better a strong, handsome male grovelling. Or maybe he will be crying on his knees whilst begging for forgiveness for some minor infraction. As Anastasia Blackwell describes her story plot:
“I wanted him down on his knees, in tears, begging for forgiveness, like a little boy who has gotten in big trouble. ... There is nothing more sexy than a powerful man who gives over to his vulnerability. When seen raw, naked, and stripped of the confines of power, men are such gorgeous creatures. But, the problem is getting them there - especially for the alpha variety. Also, be careful what you wish for - he can use ‘the grovel’ to take you straight to his goal. Is it true emotion, or merely a tool to maintain his control? It depends on the nature of the beast.”
Describing the hero in her book, she says:
“He’s beginning to lose his composure - but will he break and grovel?”
‘Gone With The Wind’ from 1936 by Margaret Mitchell has a very alpha male hero. Yet he is vulnerable when his heart becomes involved which makes his grovel scene very touching.
In Meljean Brook’s novel ‘Demon Blood’, Deacon kneels down in front of Rosalie to offer his services and everything he owns to ask if she will allow him a another chance to prove his worth. This grovel convinces Rosalie that he has changed. He offers his current and future worth for a chance at her acceptance of him.
Romance readers even discuss whether a hero has grovelled correctly and what constitutes a ‘correct grovel’. They even discus grovel length, grovel sincerity, and sexiness. In a romance novel, the reader can sense that the male hero who just saved the world is starting to lose his composure and waits to see if the man will break and grovel to the physically weaker female. He can save the world but she can wrap him around her finger and have him grovelling on the floor.
There are lessons to be learned from horse breaking. A horse is a powerful animal that can kill you. A relatively weak human can break and or tame the horse. Breaking and taming are different. I shall give you some snippets:
WikiHow: “In general, a horse’s loyalty greatly depends on the type of training or breaking that it receives. Horses that are broken to follow their leader out of respect are much more enjoyable than those that follow out of fear.”
The last line is an important life lesson. Leadership works best when there is respect rather than fear. This is why I regularly say: “Your reputation is the most important thing that you own.” Here are some snippets on horse training:
I had a chat with Ivy, who is remarkably good at this sensual communication. (She showed me one of her methods by putting her fingers on my arm, when I was speaking, and played the piano on my forearm. It was an amazing show of close connection.) She agreed never to argue with a man but to play him with quiet tones: “You decide. You always seem to look after me better than I look after myself.” Play him, don’t argue with him. Firstly, his logic is strong and very likely exceeds yours. Secondly, conflict is started which may backfire on you. Starve the argument of oxygen. Don’t magnify the him-v-her argument. You will get your way by other means. Thirdly, men argue differently. They give reasons and then are prone to concede. You are prone to demand your way irrespective. He is also prone to concede to you because the relationship is precious. But the relationship may become damaged. Take advantage of his logical rational approach to life. Continuing:
You will see wives in restaurants go: “tut tut” or tap lightly on the table and her man will go immediately silent. It is given in an air of protecting him from making an idiot of himself.
A girl was gently holding my arm when she was using every womanly trick to pressure me into something to which I held resolute to a previous negative answer. When she finished. She gently muttered: “Grrrr!” and gently shook my arm in frustration.
A girl will drag a man across a room with light pressure from a little finger. She will turn his head with the lightest of touches from a single finger and use her eyes to reward him.
Many of these tactics needed by the woman are not natural. Some of this is not embedded in the female DNA, but it must be enhanced for lifetime monogamous relationships. To bring the male under the complete domination of the female requires an enhancement of the female’s natural skills. It all hinges on the male DNA causing him to desire to spread seed. He was built to use whatever cunning and violence as may be necessary. There is a great deal of male energy involved and it needs to be harnessed by the female or it will be used against the female. No amount of legal jargon will alter this. The only way is for females to control males in the only available method — which is by playing games with his emotions. Women understand emotion and males understand logic. The control starts with the mother. The control of the father demonstrates the procedure. The wife benefits from the mother’s training of her husband. This is the ‘Secret’ — ‘The Woman’s Secret’ — totally unknown to males.
From an early age, males are trained not to feel. In reality, they feel, but they hide the emotional reaction. Mothers train them in this. I heard one mother say to a young one: “You’re not scared of the dark, are you?” Males will keep a straight face. They may be extremely feared, but they will not show it and they will deny it. They will lie about their emotions as their mother encouraged and demanded. In other words, they lie about it and they have been encouraged to lie about their fear. They may never lie about any topic except their emotions. To a male, lies about their emotions are not considered to be lies. It is ‘what is done’. It is not considered to be dishonest.
It becomes difficult to detect fear in the male because he is well trained to hide the fear. Small boys may initially carry stuffed toys to hold as a reptilian action of an infant reptile. This is soon indoctrinated out of the male. Boys are called sissies if they show fear. Even the reaction to pain must be suppressed. Crying is completely taboo. This all makes the male suitable for protecting the rest of the society consisting of the females and their offspring. The males are entirely dispensable and they have been trained to be so — by their mother — a female. They even accept this disposability provided it is for the honourable pursuit of protection of the females and children of society. Thus there existed a female cartel on the control of males which is quite different to the methods of the animal kingdom.
In the human gender balance, where women are masters of emotion, part of the inability of males to comprehend and issue emotional signals may be biological, however, if it did exist, it was destroyed in the ‘school of hard knocks’ prepared for males. Thus it may have been recognized that if males have their emotional comprehension neutered, women have the advantage. Thus toughening up the males may have been purposeful to give women the controlling influence or it may have been evolutionary in that no other formula for human survival was possible. I haven’t worked that one out yet. Woman’s powerful controlling role over males is currently in danger. Feminism, funded and promoted by elite males has broken the woman’s cartel on sex and altered young women’s approach to child upbringing. If the young males are not raised to respect and defer to women, we may put future women in danger. Screams of rape are too late. Jail is for perpetrators which requires a crime. The wayward activity needs to be prevented before it happens not afterward. Thus, early training of males is essential.
The balance was set by Jesus demanding monogamy for life and reasonable treatment of women. This allowed women to influence young males to be respectful of females to the extent that males were always to defer to females. Today in Kiev, males were giving up their seats on the metro to females. If females are to be respected by ravishing males, it is necessary that males be trained in this matter at a very young age. As in the horse manual, the training of the horse needs to be done at a young age. After that, he becomes dangerous. The horse does not respect the human and the horse squashes the human. Without this nexus, male strength and devious behaviour will overwhelm the females. If the male is not trained at a young age, the only restraint on male behaviour is through the jail system. However, he has to commit the crime before he is admitted to the jail. If trained young, a life without crime is possible. Screaming about male violence is pointless because it is too late when the females have been mishandled. As I say: “We need to stop the airplanes falling out of the sky — before they fall out of the sky.” We need to stop male violence before violence and that can only happen by training them young. Bitching later is ignorant. We are living in an era of illogic.
Within the marriage relationship, the set up was very clever in that it balanced male logic against female emotion in a symbiotic relationship that was greater than the individual components. Males are taught not to cry. They do not understand this emotion. A girl cries and they cannot handle it. When women cry, it has a profound influence on a male. Men tend to hate it when women cry, particularly where they are perceived to have upset the girl. He may even be guilty of something that he is not aware of. He can be guilty of doing something he did not do. He can be held guilty for something he did not purposely do like forgetting her birthday or his mother’s birthday. “You are so heartless. You forgot your mother’s birthday.” This causes a big tear session where he is accused of lack of sensitivity. I never saw a packet of sensitivity on the shop shelf, but he is guilty all the same. It is a way that women can control a relationship without aggressiveness.
Any of these tactics taken too far would be called emotional abuse. The task is to never take them too far.
This is why males call women stupid. To a male, the woman does not espouse logic and reason. When I corner a woman in a logical discussion on reason, they start screaming at me. One yelled at me: “You men are going to have to ‘man-up’ or you are not going to get any sex.” Males are getting more sex than ever without commitment and I don’t think that she would want to be treated the way men treat men. I lifted my hands in a gesture of puzzlement and walked away to save her face. “Show us your tits.” now replaces “You look good today.” However, when it comes to emotion, women are on another level. So we have a complementary arrangement. Women take advantage of male logic, inventiveness, creativity, and physical strength and male genes and the male gets emotional support. The emotional support is actually a support mechanism so that the male works to the advantage of females. “Show us your tits.” has arrived because women have lost control. Violence is occurring because women have lost control. Women have lost control and males now judge a woman on her ability at oral sex rather than her ability as a mother. As part of the sexual subjugation of females, even women’s magazines are giving advice on how to give great service to males. I have seen plastered across the front of a woman’s magazine:
“How to give a great blow job.”
And:
“Some men even prefer a blow job to full-on sex. So as oral sex is such a big deal for the boys, we ought to know how to ...”
And:
“How do YOUR oral skills measure up? Giving your man an amazing blowjob is one of the greatest sexual gifts you can give him.”
And trickery:
“How to trick men into thinking you give the best blow job in the world.”
‘Sexual Liberation’ gave men the right to demand more exciting sex from females:
“One thing men do not like is mechanical oral sex, performed without passion. He wants to think that you are enjoying it as much as him, so vary your rhythm, speed and intensity. Gently caress his testicles and then try upping the pace for a few strokes. Take him to the edge then bring him back from the brink to get him revved up and eager for more.”
This distorted view of ‘Liberation’ is saying that both males and females are free to say yes to sex with anyone, anytime. This is rule of the jungle before we became civilised.
My advice is that you should train your man to take you to the ‘edge’ and make you eager for more. You may need to hold his hands and squeeze stronger as you get closer to orgasm so that he can judge when to back off as you get closer to the ‘edge’. He is here to satisfy you. Use eye contact. Exaggerate your eye contact to signify the stages of your arousal. He will get great pleasure simply from satisfying you. Make sure you use your: “ooohhss” and “aaahhss”. Never lie on the bed like a sack of potatoes for his pleasure. He has to take you to heaven and back. God or nature made sex pleasurable for a reason. You need to train him to heighten all your nerves with caresses by fingers and tongue to lift your eroticism before he gets anywhere near the honey pot. If you have him well trained, you will be close to an orgasm before he even touches the honey-pot. This was probably the technique we used as reptiles. He might caress you until you were a willing partner. You might make him give you a light fingertip massage for up to an hour before you let him near the real thing. It is necessary to summon up old habits rather than let the logic override the natural impulse to have quick bang. One of those scientists in white coats claims; “Snake sex may take less than an hour, but it may last as long as a whole day.” The male reptile possesses two testicles but they are housed inside the body. The reptile is cold blooded. When we became warm-blooded animals, the testicles decided to move to the colder regions outside the body to keep cool. Humans then stuffed up by wearing trousers that keep them warm. Keep your man’s testicles cool. His testicles are important to you because they contain the genes that you need to get pregnant. So it is reasonable to discuss the importance of his testicles to you and why they should be kept cool ---- for you. You will put him right on the edge by asking questions about testicles. So, to move the conversation onto babies, do not discuss babies, discuss his testicles. Ask him questions about his testicles. Testicles are very important to a male. Along with his penis, they define his manhood from a male point of view. Ask if you can squeeze them and how they feel. How hard can you pull them without hurting? Do they have names? Is one full of male swimmers and the other full of female swimmers? Do they keep making new swimmers? They belong to you. You can even say: “look after my testicles.” He then knows that he is carrying them to get you pregnant when you wish. He is not just getting his sex kicks, he is giving you a present. So refer to the sex act as “giving me a present.” The gift must always be delivered to the biologically correct orifice. Porn has stuffed this up. If he tries to show you porn to change your bedroom behaviour, embarrass him with: “Have you been watching porn? That is males abusing women. We are here for the real thing the way it was meant to be.” You can invent some better lines. Don’t forget that your female ancestors made sex a taboo subject for a reason — to control male lustfulness. Sex is a naughty taboo subject for a reason. You don’t lead him astray — his wickedness leads you into naughtiness.
There was a time that humans did not know that sex made babies. So the male DNA does not know that sex makes babies. Boys (and girls) have to be told that sex makes babies. Your male does not relate the sex act to making babies. He has to be taught. The thought of babies will put him off sex and you. The avenue is through the testicles. You can call the sperm: “Swimmers” as in “All those little swimmers” This will give his ejaculate some character. I’m sorry for getting so graphic but times have changed and with the advent of free sex from ‘liberated females’ and free porn, you have to outclass this with a truthful and honourable approach to sex without degrading yourself to the level desired by those wishing to destroy the family life through the imposition of Communism-lite disguised as Feminism. It is a thought of horror to a male that a baby will pop out of the same hole into which he puts his manhood. We have to live with the history of biology.
It is a thought of horror to a male to lose his testicles. Testicles are carried with honour. Testicles are central to his being. He knows that testicles will get women pregnant. Ask him questions about how he cares for them and move onto what is in them. This all appeals to his logical approach to life. Humans have convoluted mating rituals and you have to be the master. Women were not born for the benefit of males. Males were born to get women pregnant and little else. They were built strong for that purpose. Like the horse, he was trained young to be submissive to his physical inferior. You need to play the game. The game of your life. The game that women have been playing for the last two thousand years. The game set up by Jesus and his followers where mothers trained little boys to be subordinate to women. Where boys were trained to be ignorant of emotion so that they could be manipulated by the emotions of females. That is why men say that they don’t understand women. I once heard a joke in a cowboy film along the lines: “There are only two things men need to know about women and nobody has found them yet.” One eastern European said, pointing to her midriff: “Men can know what is going on below here but they don’t need to know what goes on above here.” Women have another layer of thought above that of men and it involves getting men to function for their benefit. It is ‘Secret Woman’s Business’. Women know ‘The Secret’ and men don’t. Young women are increasingly blind to the situation as the published popular culture has told them otherwise.
Sex is nothing embarrassing. Even the trees outside are having sex all day long but they don’t have the brains to recognize it. Animals just get on with it. Females have stigmatized sex to ground level and elevated romance. Thus the male is encouraged to take on a female designed procedure to the advantage of women. Males are allowed to participate provided they play to the rules kept by women but supported by men. In the teachings of Christ, there is a passage where they question why any male would marry if he had to stay with her as she aged. They reasoned that the advantages outweighed the disadvantages. Although ‘marriage for life is not a perfect arrangement, it is still better than the alternatives of a free for all. Men are ‘tamed’ to provide a lifetime of service for a mother and her family. Males were encouraged to emit a grovelling servility to women whilst retaining masculine dignity.
Violent takeover of the female was discouraged by training and punishment and a grovelling subservience to the woman was encouraged. When males get the controlling hand, the mating procedure becomes porn. Only the young women are of interest. The woman gets tricked into consent. She is slapped around and the whole event proceeds for the enjoyment of the male. Males run the porn industry and women get paid a nominal amount and get turfed out at the end with the males laughing at the girl’s gullibility. In a porn film, The male lead gives the commands, enters every orifice and finishes up depositing seed where biology never intended. The males are so detached that they deposit their present in the wrong location. Strangely, some schools are trying to undo the porn propaganda by teaching young males the correct hole. I still puzzle whether there was ever a time in history that males got it so wrong as to leave their calling card on the face of a girl. I sometimes joke in man-talk to the young males:
“You blokes are putting it in the wrong hole. ”
And:
“God gave you a penis to fuck women and he gave you testicles to get them pregnant. There is no point you blokes having testicles if you are not going to get them pregnant.”
Such is the influence of the stupid ‘sexual revolution’ that they are all getting it wrong. What would our forefathers have thought if they knew the current males were putting their knobs in the wrong holes? Sorry girls, you are going to have to develop some strategy other than negativity to encourage appropriate bedroom behaviour. The genie is out of the bottle that sex can be more fun than a fumble in the dark in bed with the wife lying like a sack of potatoes in the so-called “Missionary Position”. But women need to take control and decide what is acceptable and what is not. A penis was designed to be placed in a vagina for a few minutes. It may have a bell end shape for a reason. The ejaculation is accompanied by a chemical release to give a drug effect to satisfy the male. Females were encouraged to enjoy the sex act by chemical releases. These have been present since the days of reptiles. Sorry to be offensive to older readers, but, This is what young girls are facing in the bedroom. There is little chance that a young lady is going to meet a male that has not watched porn, so they need to be prewarned that the males have sex education by watching submissive girls or any level of attractiveness being mistreated on a computer screen. There is no lesson of how to raise a girl to an elevated state by light finger caresses to the back arms and torso. An experienced male can have a girl rolling her eyes, dropping her head back, and moaning in seven minutes without touching any sexual area. Light finger caresses down the back, along the forearms, light lip caresses to the neck, finger circles around the breasts and torso, can send a girl into another carefree world of excitement frenzy. It is the tactile stimulation described in the next paragraph and it does not need any contact with sexual organs. The young girl doesn’t know it and nor does the young male. The experienced man will take her there and she will say: “No man ever did that to me.”
The scientists in white coats have been watching reptiles ‘at it’ and report that the male reptile that won a non-destructive mating rivalry sequence then courted the female in a variety of ways. Our reptile may rub his chin all over her body lifting her level of excitement. He may vibrate his body against hers whilst parallel to her. Some snakes may also tongue flick their female mate in a form of tactile stimulation. Sex is natural, but to control human males it must be placed on the naughty list such that males must demonstrate subservience to female emotional ability in a process called romance. Male logic is useful for society and for most of the basic functioning of the family but when it comes to women, romantic subservience is essential to curb male superior strength. What feminism did was to accentuate human logic and reason above emotion. Males are given the opportunity to win when reason transcends emotion. When emotion transcends logic, the male is a grovelling servant to women. Feminism elevated logic above emotion and broke the female control. The women finished up as ditch diggers or their equivalent and sexually subservient to males.
Any chance of males becoming the emotional equal of females is quickly destroyed by clever mothers. So ‘Girl Power’ is not as in this image:
That was the first modern attempt to relinquish women of their power after the undemocratic Bolshevik coup. Woman’s power comes from her ability to sweet talk like this: “Mmmmmmmmmm. You look after me so well.”
Who the hell would want to work if you could get a man to do it? Would you prefer three months holiday rather than three weeks holiday? If the answer was “yes”, don’t fool me by saying you want the work.
Here is some advice from dog training manuals:
It may well be that this has been bred into the human. The male that came under the influence of the female got to sire children. Modification of human behaviour happens faster because we can learn from the previous generation. That is why children take a long time to mature. Males take longer than females. Males are happy to be controlled by women if their needs are met. I tried to puzzle what my first natural thoughts are when waking. It may be that sex comes to my reptilian brain before food. The tactical brain will work out how to get both sex and food. So, if pleasing the woman brings a higher chance of sex, then the day’s activities are orientated towards pleasing the woman. If it means working down a coalmine for ten hours, then so be it. This is the one thing that communism had a problem with. They had a problem motivating males to work. Males will only work hard if they see some motivation such as catering for a family or a wife. Males will work their whole life to keep a woman happy. They turn the task into a ‘responsibility’. They get upset if they fail in this responsibility even when the cause was not of the male’s making. If the happiness dries up, the motivation dries up. The motivating factor can be as little as a sweet smile, a peck on the cheek, or a hug. This is why a seventy-year-old man that is still fit and healthy and still virile stays with his haggard old wife. He also still feels responsible for her welfare and happiness and will even get upset if there is a problem not of his causing.
Males, in their formative days, are trained such that their concept of masculinity aligns with their ability to satisfy a female woman in all senses of the word. Thus masculinity is a socially constructed set of expectations of how a man should be and how he should act. Also called manhood and manliness, it is a set of roles and behaviours that are expected of males. Here is a quote from The Modern Man:
“When a man has these qualities, he has a natural self-assuredness that makes him stand out head and shoulders above other men, and women feel an instinctive sexual attraction towards him because he has what it takes to protect her and provide for her, allowing her to relax into being a woman in the relationship.” [5]
The Modern Man is very much a man’s advice website, yet it mentions that he “has what it takes to protect her and provide for her.”
The characteristics of manliness are defined in women’s terms. They are characteristics that women desire in a man. So sex is downplayed and romance is elevated. Romance is code for a male grovelling to a female. Manliness definitions all have characteristics appealing to women. These characteristics are drummed into males throughout their lives and particularly when young. These males are not supposed to concede because that makes them weak and weak males are not wanted by women because they want strong capable men to provide and protect. Weak only partly refers to physical strength but also refers to social weakness. I next give you some quotes and descriptions on being a ‘Real Man’. You should notice that they all hinge on the male’s usefulness to a female:
Frank Abagnale: “A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.” [A grovelling slave who devotes his life’s effort to a woman and her offspring.]
Anonymous: “A real man won’t date the most beautiful girl in the world - he’ll date the girl that makes his world beautiful.”
Elbert Hubbard: “The stronger a man is, the more gentle he can afford to be.” [A good slave does not harm its master.]
Kiki Strack: “A real man will remind his woman daily why she fell in love with him.”
Anonymous: “A real man can’t stand seeing his woman hurt. He’s careful with his decisions and actions, so he never has to be responsible for her pain.” [Never hit a slave-master. Protect your slave-master.]
Terry Mark: “Only a real man is able to stick to just one woman and treat her special, always.” [Be a good slave. Serve only one master.]
Tony Evans: “A man who brags about satisfying thirty women is immature. A real man is one who can satisfy the same woman for thirty years.”
Anonymous: “Real men stay faithful.” [Only one slave-master. He doesn’t let other desirous women lead him astray even if he is denied his conjugal rights.]
Chuck Norris: “Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.” [It saves tying the slave to the whipping post.]
JoyBell C.: “Manhood is defined and decided by the ability to nurture and to protect, by the capability to provide and to sustain.” [Good male slave.]
Anastasia Netri: “A good man will want you to shine. He wants you to be your amazing self. A good man loves to show off his happy, intelligent, amazing, powerful woman.”
Anonymous: “Real men stay faithful. They don’t have time to look for another woman because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own.”
Nicky Jam: “I’m a real man. I can suffer.” [Why would you do that?]
Anonymous: “A real man never hurts a woman.”
Thomas Paine: “The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.”
Max Frisch: “I live, like every real man, in my work.” [Get those slaves working!]
Anonymous: “Being a real man does not [mean] that you sleep with one hundred women. It means that you fight for one girl, even when ninety-nine others are chasing you.” [He must chase one when ninety-nine others are prepared to drop their knickers for him. One expectation on males. A different one on women. Ninety-nine promiscuous women, but the man must refrain from promiscuity!]
Anonymous: “Seek to understand their wife with all their heart.” [Be a wonderful slave.]
Anonymous: “Look for someone they can care for.”
Anonymous: “Get married.” [Why would he do that if he can hop from bed to bed? Why would he enter a contract where the woman has the upper hand?]
Anonymous: “A real man will cut off any female that threatens his relationship with his woman.” [Another woman is prepared to break the relationship but he must not. Why is there no rule about the other woman?]
Mario Tomasello: “A real man follows the three ‘P’s: pray, provide, and protect.”
Mitch Cuento: “A real man never stops trying to show a girl how much he cares, even if he already has her.”
Charles J. Orlando: “A gentleman will open doors, pull out chairs, and carry things. Not because she’s helpless or unable, but because he wants to show her that she is valuable and worthy of respect.”
Anonymous: “The real power of a man is in the size of the smile of the woman sitting next to him.” [Born to keep women happy.]
C. JoyBell C: “The mark of a real man, is a man who can allow himself to fall deeply in love with a woman.”
Anonymous: “Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.”
Anonymous: “Real man won’t allow another man to disrespect his woman, daughter, or his mother.” [Apparently ok to disrespect a father, son or husband.]
Anonymous: “A real man provides for his family; emotionally, mentally and financially.”
All the definitions and quotes define a real man and manliness in terms of what is useful to females. You may have noticed that most were written by males exhorting that males should be subservient! You may also notice that even males suggest subservience even when another woman undermines the subservience to his master. He is to be trained in this from an early age. He will see his role in society as being helpful and faithful to one woman even when women step out of line. His manliness is not the number of women that fall for him but him locking himself into a marriage contract with a woman who is given express authority to control access to the honeypot as in: “he must have her consent to engage in the sexual act.” But there are no limits on how romantic he can be. You can describe grovelling servility of the working classes but you will be scorned for classing a romantic male as operating under grovelling servility. The man must demonstrate grovelling servility for him to be accepted into a marriage contract. We can consider masculinity to be a human concept about the expected behaviour of a man and how he should act. So let us look at some descriptions of masculine and masculinity:
Jamison Vann: “Men should be macho, brave, strong, watch football on Sundays, and never show emotion. According to most people, men shouldn’t do things that counter standardized worldviews of masculinity. ...
They can and should be vulnerable, loving, emotionally intelligent, and willing to do what it takes to make their loved ones happy.” [Jamison Vann, Military Veteran, Leadership Guru]
SatPurusha: “As a male, I have a desire to feel masculine. It is this inner sense that defines my masculinity. It comes from my knowledge and understanding of myself as a male. I decide what is right, but I need to feel the fullness of it. That, for me, is masculinity; feeling like a man.”
SatPurusha believes that to be masculine he has to live up to the goals that he was given. This then can be externally defined. It is not part of his DNA. If males are not trained in the characteristics of manliness in the younger years, they are going to be problematic for females. As this training is being broken, girls are marching down the streets to put an end to male violence. It was always a delicate balance. If we operate on Moses Laws of vengeance, which is the mode of the current legal justice system, then the vengeance occurs after the abuse. We need to prevent the violence before it occurs. The only procedure is to get the main nurturer, the mother, to train the males from an early age not to hit girls and to impress into them the honour code of manliness which is not manliness but a code of conduct where women have the superior position. Even the act of sex must explicitly have the consent of the female. It does not get written as the consent of the male and the female. Men must be subjugated to women from an early age. To do otherwise causes the music to echo the lines of Eminem:
“I’m fuckin’ everything when I’m snortin’
It’s gonna cost 300 dollars to get my Pit Bull an abortion [Does he mean his woman? Not sure!]
Some bitch asked for my autograph
I called her a hore, spit beer in her face and laughed”
[Eminem — Under the Influence Lyrics]
I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam
All bitches ares hoes, even my stinkin’ mom
[Suck My Dick Lyrics - Eminem]
The message here is that we have a breakdown of the established system. Males have to be taught to respect and defer to women. If this is not done or males realize that they were hoaxed by their mothers, then social order between males and females breaks down. Eminem enlightens us when they sing: “All bitches ares hoes, even my stinkin’ mom.” Girls then get manipulated and mistreated. Eminem demonstrates the lack of respect for females: “I called her a [w]hore, spit beer in her face and laughed.” Yet the girls still keep dropping knickers as he expresses in: “I’m fuckin’ everything.” Under the current climate it is difficult to stop this as girls are told: “It is your body. You can do what you want with it.” If they are still a virgin, they are called “sexually repressed.” Police reports of gross violence make unpleasant reading.
The roles of males and females were defined by our ancestors for the better functioning of society. The male was to be the provider. He was trained for this by years of training by a mother and reinforced by father, extended family, and the community. He required a certain toughness for protecting the community — community being the women and children. He was taught to hide emotions and ignore hardship, and deprivation. His life was to be one of service to wife, family, and community in a selfless manner. His emotions were limited to anger or happiness. Masculinity was demanded from males but was deplored in females. Why would a woman climb a tree when a man would willingly do it for her? The concept of manliness is expressed in the idea of the three ‘P’s of Manhood. These are protect, procreate, and provide. If a male did not run to these three ‘P’s, he was of ‘poor character’. He had no ‘backbone’. This relies on the male being concerned with how others perceive him. So an education system that compares one to the other is useful as it encourages norms, group criticism, and compliance. The male feels compelled to comply to these norms. Under normal functioning of society, he is complimented on his servitude to one woman. Under a broken society, his status depends on how many women he beds and how many he has under his influence. In a broken society, when he feels horny, he goes visit one of many in his phone list.
The only way to operate a society that gives any safety and comfort to women is one where the males do all the external work and are controlled by the social conditioning of mothers, wives, and society. The woman controls the male when society empowers her to be the judge of his masculinity. When he is a good dog, she smiles and gives him a treat. The treat is access to the honeypot which she also enjoys. Cleverly treated, she gets him to work in the bed for a long time to bring her up to a new level. So, even his ‘treat’ is to treat her to a long shaking orgasm the likes of which ... The trick here is to disallow access to the honeypot area until he has massaged the body to within inches of excited hopelessness. He then believes that he is the hero and the only one that can manage such a feat. If he is allowed an initial kiss to the palm of your hand and slowly works his way towards ... Then he must start with a kiss to the palm of the other outstretched arm again working inwards to be stopped before he reaches the centre. He is then allowed to start from the left ear. Next is the right ear, then the feet in turn. You have trained him to be your slave and not the other way around. You never become his puppet.
To complete the charade, it is necessary to explain the social norm that women are weak. This is a clever construction by women to obtain their needs from males. Women need to be viewed as weak so that less is expected of them and so that the strong males should support them. All the quality values of a male are his value as a support person for the female. The greater his wealth and the longer he can supply her needs, the greater his value. The woman seeks out the male that can supply the greatest to her needs. The male with a house is high up the pecking order and has little difficulty persuading girls to drop their knickers. The natural trait of women is to be ‘gold-diggers’. Try a web video search for ‘gold-digger hoax’. It is illuminating. Unfortunately, males are ‘cottoning on’ to the way they were made subservient. If the current situation is not restored to the Christian approach, you can expect the words of Eminem to dominate. A web-search for ‘suck my dick’ provides a huge range of results that include:
“Suck my dick, suck my mother fuckin’ dick dick.”
“Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin’”
“I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin’ me to buy baby formula.”
“Pull your panties down, girl, we gon’ have a pussy fight
I said pull your panties down, we gon’ have a tongue and pussy fight ...
And I keep a lot of hoes like Tila Tequila”
The young that listen to this are being desensitized to the mastery of civilization. There is one song about forced gender reassignment: ‘Cattle Decapitation: Forced Gender Reassignment.’ It is rather grotesque where the man has his penis removed and a vagina created and the girl had the penis grafted. I’m not sure if they are warning us about the stupidity of gender neutrality or what, but it is upsetting to me and I’m a grown adult. We are damaging traditions that are ancient and are tied to convention and evolution. They are being circumvented by the broadcast of popular culture. Desensitized, the young lose their sanity and say “hello” to a new gender as they remove the testicles in a sex revision operation. The removed penis is stapled to a woman who is to become the new husband. As logic turns to illogic we become the self-destructing human. As adults, we cannot be sure what is being played as they wear their earphones in the street. The concept of civilization was that we surpassed evolution that takes millions of years to make simple improvements to a living organism by developing a neocortex that allowed us to learn from the previous generations and invent new procedures. Unfortunately, inappropriate procedures can be introduced and logic overruled by illogic.
To summarize, control of the male is practiced in a subtle manner by control of access to the vagina augmented by the appropriate use of praise. He is led to believe that he is ‘head of the family’ and that he runs the society and nation. He is given guidance as to the needs of the family. He puts all his life’s effort into the upkeep and maintenance of the family and he runs the nation for the benefit of women.
Love and romance are glorified so that the male capitulates to the female. The male is encouraged to exhibit romantic manners to demonstrate submission to the woman to obtain sex. Sex is an entirely natural pastime in the entire animal kingdom. The request for sex is made to sound ‘naughty’ and selfish rather than natural so that sex can be rationed. It is inappropriate to discuss the subject of sex which makes its supply controllable. It only becomes available when the male is well behaved and has complied with the wishes of the female. By this means, men’s sexual lives are controlled by females.
Esther writes that men gain nothing from marriage and that women, who are out to get men’s money, coerce them into marriage under the pretence that it is romantic. Then Esther gets a bit carried away. But it is illuminating:
Esther Vilar: “Men are at best praised for their steadfastness, courage, reliability — all qualities useful to women, having nothing to do with physical appearance. ...
Of all the qualities of man, his curiosity is certainly the most impressive. ...
A woman takes interest only in subjects that have an immediate personal usefulness to her. ...
One has only to watch a man go past a building site where a newly developed machine is being used, for example, a new kind of dredger. There is hardly a man — regardless of social status — who will pass by without a glance. Many will stop to have a good look and to discuss the characteristics of the new machine, its advantages and disadvantages, and its differences from previous models.” [3]
Esther Vilar: “And a man could not be pregnant for nine months without knowing all the functions of the placenta and ovaries. Men not only observe the world around them, it is in their nature to make comparisons and to apply the knowledge they have gained elsewhere with the ultimate aim to transform this newfound knowledge into something else, something new. ...
One need not emphasize the fact that practically all the inventions and discoveries in this world have been made by men, ...
If a young man gets married, starts a family, and spends the rest of his life working at a soul-destroying job, he is held up as an example of virtue and responsibility. The other type of man, living only for himself, working only for himself, doing first one thing and then another simply because he enjoys it and because he has to keep only himself, sleeping where and when he wants, and facing woman when he meets her, on equal terms and not as one of a million slaves, is rejected by society. The free, unshackled man has no place in its midst. ...
Man has the key to every mystery of the universe in his hand, but he ignores it, he lowers himself to the level of woman and insinuates himself into her favor.” [3]
Esther mentions “The free, unshackled man has no place in its midst.” We now have many ‘free, unshackled men’ that do not wish to marry and have learned to manipulate girls into disrespected items for sexual gratification. Esther has received many death threats. Did she get too close to the truth?
In 1590, a female writer with the name Modesta Pozzo wrote:
“don’t we see that men’s rightful task is to go out to work and wear themselves out trying to accumulate wealth, as though they were our factors or stewards, so that we can remain at home like the lady of the house directing their work and enjoying the profit of their labors? That, if you like, is the reason why men are naturally stronger and more robust than us — they need to be, so they can put up with the hard labor they must endure in our service.”[6]
She says that men go out to work for the benefit of women. They are strong so that they can endure the hard labour in the service of women. Modesta Pozzo was a damn sight smarter than the current band of female mouthpieces. Men did all the jobs because that is what women wanted them to do. Then some nut-job comes along and says women should be working! So in 1590, Modesta Pozzo was very aware of ‘The Woman’s Secret’. She did a terrible thing: she released ‘The Secret’ so that men could see that women were oppressing them by pushing them into female servitude.
Western society has long had an element of puritanism along with an overvaluation of women. The West was never a true patriarchal society simply because women maintained an elevated status. By controlling the crèche, they gave themselves the guiding role on morals for the young. They maintained the concept enshrined in the saying:
What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails.
That’s what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and all things nice.
That’s what little girls are made of.
They encouraged the thinking that males were inherently immoral whilst women were pure. It can be argued that women created a situation where they were overvalued. Jesus had set up a system for Christianity that enabled women to take the dominant role whilst men thought they had the dominant role. The women guided the males that did the dangerous and dreary work.
Throughout civilized history, women have used a clever way of getting things done. They manipulate men into doing the task. The power of the female is to control the physically powerful male through emotional blackmail combined with reward. Males are unaware of these control methods and unaware that they are manipulated. Here are employable techniques. They work because he is ignorant that they are being used. His desire allows them to be used. They tend to use negative emotions or positive emotions such as jealousy, pride, guilt, shame, etc. As women, you can spot these things that males fail to notice:
[Adapted from a few different sources.]
Women are the masters of shaming and social pressure. Males usually have little defence against this. They try to use logic against female illogical statements.
The next technique is commonly called “The Shit Test”. I will rename this “The Stress Test”.
A stress test (shit test) is typically described as a test that a girl performs on a male by saying or doing something so that she can observe his reaction. It will often involve something inappropriate and may be designed to check out his boundaries. In a very strange experience the other day, a girl looked me in the eyes and asked me: “What is your favourite sexual position?” My answer surprised her and later she complimented me for being a real gentleman. I said that I did not have a favourite sexual position but that the activity was conducted to ensure that the woman was taken to heaven and back and that was where the male enjoyment came from.
The female throws a situation to see how you handle it. Males sometimes refer to this as: “She was messing [f***ing] with my head.” Unfortunately, I have yet to find more academic terms for these actions. It will be used to find chinks in the male’s armour. It will test his weaknesses. Men usually buckle under the stress test. The target is put under pressure to see how here acts to the pressure. It might be a question like: “I’m not sure if you love me.” or even more dramatic: “I’m never sure whether you love me.” They invariably have a provocative nature designed to elicit an emotional response which of course is not the male’s strong point. They are often framed so that you are in trouble whichever way you answer the question. “Don’t be smart with me!” or “Don’t be argumentative!” It may make the male angry and then he is accused of an inability to control himself the original question then being ignored. So he is attacked for his handling rather than his actual answer. Answers such as: “I detect a bit of insincerity there.” to find chinks in his armour. It might include: “How do I know if you are telling the truth?” He is pushed into a defensive position where he will reveal things about himself which gives the woman further ammunition with which to control her man slave. Answers may include: “Now you’re being childish!” Males will tend to be anti-confrontational and so a confrontation is created where none existed. “I get upset when you ignore me.” The stress test has an element of “How much of a man are you?” which then generates the conundrum of what it means to be a man. Are we talking of the male opinion of what a man is or what a woman’s opinion of what a man is? If a male was designed to spread seed, than a man’s definition of being a ‘man’ would mean that he impregnated the entire netball team. The woman’s definition of a man will differ in that biologically she would require him to hang around and avoid other females. So ‘real man’ to a woman means looking after her whilst to a male, ‘real man’ means that he beds numerous women on a weekly basis, like the man that goes to the whore house and needs more than two hands to count the number of girls that enjoyed him in one evening. And the girls that switched off the clock because they were enjoying it so much. A stress test to a timid or effeminate man is close to bullying, but to a ‘strong man’, it is a challenge. ‘Strong man’ here does not refer to the ability to lift heavy weights but the ability to handle emotional bullying. Males do it to males in a different way. A new male is ridiculed and tested until he breaks or survives. It determines where he stands in the pecking order. If he handles it incorrectly, he may be exiled or relegated to the punch-bag position at the bottom of the ladder. He must demonstrate to the other males that he has the ability to survive a verbal sparring match. These tests are all part of human interaction and are unavoidable. He needs the ability to detect them and quash them for survival in any social environment. In layman’s language, we might say that someone fucks around with your head to see how you react.
The male ‘passes’ if he answers appropriately. I give you various comments about stress tests. These comments largely come from male forums where there is a growing awareness of the way women were previously treating males:
A small cohort of males are now learning how to stress test women. The release of males from feminine control has allowed the unshackled males to run free and bed who they want rather than who they have to. They are turning the tables on women using many of the tactics that were previously used by women.
You can even see them used on TV interviews when a woman interviews a male. She asks an impossible question where either answer will land the male in hot water.
Typical stress test questions include:
Part of our cultural training is to get humans to say something appropriate rather than what is in their head. So the man does not say: “I like looking at your breasts.” Instead, he says: “You have a beautiful smile.” But you can trip him up by saying: “Did I catch you looking at my breasts?” where he is almost forced into a lose-lose situation like checkmate in a game of chess. To which he must say with the appropriate smile: “My apologies. I was distracted.” rather than saying: “No.” If he says: “No.”, he fails. He might say: “Are you being facetious?” If he wears a smile and gives the little nod that says that he likes your breasts and would enjoy taking the matter farther, accompanied by the verbal apology, then he passes. However, only my astute readers will see something even deeper in the plot. Why did she ask in the first place? I’ll leave you to puzzle that one out. Some might call it passive-aggressive behaviour. If the breast viewer cowers and espouses guilt, he fails. If he demonstrates fear of disapproval of his wandering eyes, he fails. If he plays back with hidden complements of her figure and uses the cue to push further, he passes. One method is to describe what is beautiful. He may be bold and reply: “It is not the size that is important it is the delicateness of the curves. Shape is everything. The way the curves blend into the lines of the body make them so exciting. The wiggle is important too. The way that they move when the body breathes.” Her breathing is making her breasts rise and fall and there is little she can do about it. Check-mate. Then she attacks with: “You’re an ogle-er.” So the reply has to be: “God made women beautiful to lead us men astray. Unfortunately, he made men ugly.” Or: “There is nothing more beautiful to a male than a naked female.” There are no set rules for handling the situation, but handle them correctly is a must. A stress test has the potential to confuse you with your own logic. There is a use of illogic against a man’s logic. There is the temptation to answer the question as asked. You never give the obvious answer. The task is to give an unexpected answer that throws the conundrum back on the questioner.
Males are learning to use the stress test as attested but this male’s comment:
“Why stress test women? because it leaves them stunned. Above all, its just a modified neg, except that they’re left in a state of confusion, between wanting to value themselves to you, and not knowing why they’re valuable. Its the funniest thing seeing a girl spin her cogs trying to decipher how to deal with a stress test, most of the time they’ll actually devalue themselves.”
Males are learning this a part of what they call: “game” which has become the sport of getting into as many girl’s knickers as possible. Males with ‘game’ know how to pass stress tests and know how to give stress tests. When stress-tested, one never stutters or looks down, but one looks straight into tester’s eyes and challenges the challenger with another stress test.
In the mating game, it is used a lot. Women are constantly approached by interested males. To avoid wasting time with males perceived to be weak, a strength test is invoked. It is used to test the male to find out if the male is looking for a quick one-night stand or if he is interested in the girl as a person. So the stress test is used to make the male work hard so that the girl can detect whether the male has a genuine interest. If he is genuinely interested, she can drop her guard a little and initiate some trust. When she determines that the male’s intentions are honourable, she can be herself and start to let you into her world. The male will be stress tested from time to time. The task is to see how flustered he gets when put under pressure.
Girls don’t want to waste their time with men who are just after any girl so they make the male work for attention so they know that he actually has some interest in the girl as a person and not just a vagina. It might commonly be seen as playful teasing and idle banter, but it has a huge influence. They are calling each other’s bluff with a stress test. The male will use it to gauge whether the woman is secretly interested in having sex with him. He will slip in a comment that happens to include sex with him and the girl will fail to slap him which tells him that he is already on the list as a potential sex partner. Males report that this is a good way to get a girl into bed. She has displayed her willingness, not verbally, but by failing a stress test.
I’ll finish with this thoughtful quote:Massimo Pigliucci: “We all want to be loved, but… other people’s feelings, judgments, and actions are not within our control. So we should focus instead on being the most lovable person possible for our companion. Whether he returns the favor or not, it’s up to him. Once we have done our utter best, to insist in controlling people and events that are actually outside our reach is futile, and likely to lead to pain and misery.”